made a mistake, made someone very important to me feel abandoned. and i have been pained with that mistake ever since. i'm usually very quick to rationalize mistakes, it's one of my faults, i justify it by the fact that if i don't i usually allow my failings to cripple me as i lose all confidence, but is that even an acceptable reason? i'm very good with excuses. my mom told me i was just like my dad in that respect, always looking for a way out, always making justifications, i never wanted to be like that, i fought so hard against becoming like that, or so i thought. as it seems i've become ever thing i hated, and desired not to become like in that respect. it's... soul shattering, to think that you've become the one thing you hated. the shade, the spectre of your life, and the sudden realization that the only reason that you were over come by any of it was due to your own weakness. and in the end you would be resolved to fail, you'll never be able to fight, in the end you will always be a lazy worthless trifflin nigga...